The Wee Peeple Newsletter - February 2021 Issue #168

#1. Don't panic.
(Many will remember this important step from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Don't go anywhere without your phone, don't stumble around in the dark, and don't fall out of bed... sustaining a shoulder injury that you really didn't need on top of everything else... ahem.

#2. Find out which drawer has the candles in it. Possibly they are in the cabinet... the closet.. Or on the shelf in the garage.
They will be somewhere and hopefully they haven't become one giant candle from being stored on top of eachother for 10 years in the sunroom...

#3. Find a [working] lighter.

#4. Dig the wicks out of the tops of the candles. Light...

#5. one minute later, re-light... pour off excess candle wax. Re-light.

Don't worry- you can scrape wax drippings off the counter and floors later.

#6. Once the candles are all stuck to plates and lit,

space them out around the house.

#7. Now blow them all out.

Your first 20 minutes of Power has begun.

#8. For the next 20 minutes inhale dense candle smoke

and organize your life.

#9. Now Prioritize! You don't have much time.

Turn on space Heaters and stand in front of them! Warm up! Charge the phone. Turn on the electric blanket ..it's now 49 degrees in the house. 19 degrees outside.

#10. The sky darkening at the Window is not just Snow flurries! It's 500 starving birds battling for position at the feeders. ok. Good thing you just bought a 40-pound bag of black oil sunflower seeds. Because you've got insane Cardinals, Goldfinches, Chickadees, Sparrows, Blue Jays, Titmice, House Finches, some kind of Black bird ..and the Squirrel...

all competitively engaged out there in the

Superbowl of Seed-Eating.

Feeding the Birds of course entails going Outside.

You DO own Boots, a heavy coat, gloves, and a scarf- so, these you add to the six sweaters and woolen ski mask you are already wearing and then you grab whatever available container you can find which will hold the sunflower seeds... and it had better be large because

you want to do this in one trip..

#11. Bravely holding open the door to the Outside, attempt to set one foot down on the top step. Evaluate. Retract the foot.

Close the door and search for Epsom Salts to sprinkle on the ice.

#12. Hold on to -something- while descending the steps. (not another human being). Proceed with great caution through the driving snow, forging a path of baby steps to the bird feeders.

The Birds will be impatiently Waiting to Grapple. As this is nerve-wracking, you go from carefully pouring seeds into each feeder to finally just

windmilling seeds around everywhere...

#13. Turn and backtrack in your own footprints. Get back up the steps and through the door! You are Home free now, but frozen, and just as you are heading for the blessed Heater,

the electricity cycles OFF.